Wisdom Quarterly: homosexual

Showing posts with label homosexual. Show all posts

Monday, October 3, 2011

Relationship Dharma

Relationships are great. They give our lives meaning. And there is probably nothing that leads more people to spirituality in general and Buddhism in specific than the suffering that comes from them. We do not have to wait to the break up to sometimes feel empty, jilted, cheated on, or dissatisfied. All we have in life are relationships -- most of them not romantic. So why is the romance so tough? Maybe it's the roles we play. Kloncke has a great take on it.

A couple who meditates in bed together... usually ends up doing something else. Sit in the living room.

Relationship Dhamma
Katie (Kloncke.com), tweaked with love by Wisdom Quarterly
Concluding this spontaneous miniseries on companionship (spontaneous yes, but maybe not concluding), we arrive at Ryan. Who? You know, my partner, the guy from Kale vs. Flowers and ~~Bad~~ Good Romance.

The other day, I read a passage from James Agee’s Southern novel A Death in the Family that reminded me of our household dynamic. Specifically, it reminded me of the ways we negotiate gendered roles, try to both anticipate and discuss each others’ needs, and occasionally discover “dhamma,” or insights about the nature of things, right in the (dis)comfort of our own home.

In this scene from the book, Jay is jolted awake in the dead of night thanks to a call... Jay has decided to take the train up to his parents’ town, and he and his wife Mary, also awakened by the phone call, are getting him ready to leave.

Ryan tells this funny joke sometimes about one method -- half-conscious at best -- by which person X tries to evade domestic work and pile it on a partner:

“But you’re so good at [cooking, doing laundry, calming a fretful child]. If I do it, I’ll just [bleep] it up.”

This is a passive-aggressive compliment-trap, which leaves the other person feeling obligated to do the thing s/he is so much better at doing.

Obviously, this is one of the big problems with the naturalization of gender roles in hetero-normative family systems. Men are raised to believe that they don’t have to learn how to cook/clean/mend/mind children because women are so naturally good at it. More

Feedback

This s*cks, what about the sex? Dharma-sharma, Zen pita sandwich. If we encouraged gutsier behavior from American Buddhist guys, or tamped down women telling people to have boundaries all over the place, I for one would be a happier camper. Let free love be free. Chemistry first, then worry about the details? - Lovedoll
Oh, Katie. My heart feels good reading this, I’ve been thinking about things like this, and I love when I get to hear where you’re thinking and the spaces you make for it. A blessing! - Leorasf
I've been practicing and studying the Buddha Way since 1993 and exploring the question "What is engaged Buddhism?" since the late 90s. As former executive director of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship and editor of its journal, Turning Wheel, I was privileged to meet many practitioners of engaged Dharma including Robert Aitken Roshi, who told me that THERE IS NO BUDDHISM THAT IS NOT ENGAGED. Now I direct the Upaya Buddhist Chaplaincy Program along with Roshi Joan Halifax, where we forge new pathways of everyday engagement and servant leadership. - Maia Duerr

Mrs. and Mr. Goenka practice the Art of Living as married householders (dhamma.org)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Kwan Yin (Madonna) Mania in Ireland (FT)

(forteantimes.com)

Madonna [Kwan Yin] Mania! - Revisiting Ireland's summer of miracles and moving statues

FT reaches biblical proportions as it investigates the moving statues of the Blessed Virgin Mary [aka the Western version of Kwan Yin] witnessed by crowds all over Ireland, explores relics galore in the British Museum's "Treasures of Heaven" exhibition, looks over Jordan into the death of Moses...while perusing the Secret Gospel of Mark, which may cast new light on hitherto hidden messianic homosexual rituals.

Plus! Philadelphia's "Jack the Slasher" case; the history of cross-dressing in the Navy; the famous 19th century parachutist showman eaten by sharks; an antiquarian's menagerie; and the FBI meets Raven Kaldera: pagan shaman, herbalist, transgender god-slave, and prophet of Baphomet [that devilish goat-human hybrid demigod]!


	Madonna Mania Ted Harrison revisits Ireland's visions of the Blessed Virgin's statues in motion

	Looking Over Jordan Richard Seary examines Moses and religious simulacra

	Treasures of Heaven David V Barrett explores the British Museum's "Treasures of Heaven" exhibition

	The Secret Gospel of Mark Forgery or fact? Messianic homosexuality revealed in Early church father letter? Andrew Smith investigates

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Is Obama Gay, Bisexual? (video)

Is our beloved president (of US, Inc.), who was born out of the country and is sure to be re-(s)elected, concealing other secrets? If the great communicator is gay, that's between him, his lovers, and Michelle. But how does it affect the extent to which he is controlled to take pro-war stands regarding Afghanistan, Yemen, Pakistan, Libya, and Iraq? The Pentagon probably doesn't mind his or Hillary's stand on gay marriage. He could save the US 100 billion by ending the wars on Iraq and Afghanistan. But if he's blackmailed by information he has to keep secret, what promise of "change" can he fulfill?

Hillary's lesbianism has long been rumored, her affair with Huma, making passes at women... But who knew she would take as fierce a pro-war stand as Cheney or Rumsefld?

Friday, June 17, 2011

"Sex Addicts" (Pandakas) in the News

Wisdom Quarterly (shocking exposé)

Oh, that Quagmire! Peter Griffin and Brian the dog walk in on Glenn Quagmire (R) committing adultery with his best friend Cleaveland's wife, Loretta Brown ("Family Guy")

Pandaka: lechery, perversion, transgression
Wisdom Quarterly (based on Religion and Homosexuality)

References to pandaka ("pervert"), a deviant gender category usually interpreted to include transgressive sex addicts, can be found in ancient Buddhist texts (Pali and Sanskrit).

The term, however, does not have a fixed meaning over time. It is generally (mis-)translated as "eunuch," which most pandakas are certainly not.

Far from neutered, they are consumed with acting out in perverse, extraordinary, transgressive, and deviant (unethical, even illegal) ways.

Leonard Zwilling (1992)* refers extensively to Ven. Buddhaghosa's Samantapasadika, where pandakas are described as being

filled with defiled passions and insatiable lusts dominated by libido. The Abhidharma states that due to the obstruction of being obsessed with sexuality, a pandaka is unable to achieve enlightenment in that lifetime. In the future, of course, change and rebirth means it is not a permanent obstruction.

The cartoon character Quagmire (in Seth MacFarlane's "Family Guy")

is the poster child to explain what this term means. He could be renamed "Glenn Pandaka" in the Hindi/Sanskrit-dubbed Indian version of the show, although they might not see the humor in such aberrant sexual misconduct.

A pandaka is not a eunuch, homosexual, adulterer, or transgendered individual -- but may manifest in all of these ways and more. "Pervert" may be too harsh in that in modern American usage it connotes a judgmental attitude. But "sex addict" brings peels of laughter because most of do not believe sex can possibly be an "addiction," or if it is, then we imagine we all are such "addict."

Sex addiction (satyrism and nymphomania or pansexuality) is, in fact, very real. But it is not what it seems and not what we imagine. Sex for the "sex addict" is not enjoyable; it is compulsive and terribly unsatisfying.

Dr. Gabor Mate (In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction) gives an excellent explanation of one characteristic of addiction: "Acting out" is what one does while playing the game Charades exactly because of an inability to talk it out.

Unable to grasp or express what is happening, our psyches behave in odd and compulsive ways we can hardly begin to explain. So "acting out" has come to mean misbehavior, particularly sexual misconduct, rooted in childhood trauma, confusion about sexual orientation, and an apparent inability to inhibit impulses.

This inability leads to cheating (violating one's own relationships), adultery (violating others' relationships), indiscriminate sexual practices, promiscuity, the insatiable need for novel stimulation... all the while being unable to tamp down the fire that is in fact being fed by everything that is being thrown at it.

Repression and denial are not healthy solutions since pushing it down here only causes it to pop up there with greater force.

Pornography, pansexuality, molestation, transgression, seduction, betrayal, sexting -- things we sometimes take rather lightly are in fact serious lapses in conduct (karma) that get us in a lot of trouble, particularly if we're in the spotlight.

More sex is not a solution when it brings distress, humiliation, self-loathing, low self-esteem, ignominy, jail time, ostracism.

Even when it is rooted in having been molested or otherwise traumatized as a child, which of course is unfair, our actions still bring results for us.

In spite of the fact that so many of us are victims (of verbal, emotional, religious, ritual, psychological, physical, and sexual) abuse, part of the condition is to blame ourselves. Caught in a cycle of shame, we "act out." It is hardly sexy.

One addiction is often accompanied by another -- alcoholism to mask painful memories and unpleasant feelings associated with buried

memories, drug abuse that makes appearing in porn seem like a good idea, thrill seeking and body art to try to get feeling from something (combating anhedonia, subclinical depression, bipolar disorder, etc.).

Dr. Mate points out that he has never met a sex addict who was not molested, which is not to say that all molested children will become sex addicts.

Sexual anorexia and bodily dissociation are also common expressions of what is coming to be recognized as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) resulting from incest, abuse, assault, rape, and other forms of trauma.

We have a taboo around incest and rape. But the taboo is actually not against committing incest. It is about talking about it, particularly by victims.

There are many degrees of affliction. And nearly all of us have been "traumatized" in life in some way or another. So what makes a free spirited enjoyer of sex a "sex addict"?

The answer is very simple. It is explained by America's favorite sexologist, Dr. Drew Pinsky (addiction medicine specialist and board-certified internist) from Loveline radio, "Celebrity Rehab," and his own CNN blog:

When in the face of increasing consequences and distress, you continue to act out and feel unable to stop...you just might be a sex addict.

*Leonard Zwilling (1992), "Homosexuality As Seen In Indian Buddhist Texts" in Buddhism, Sexuality & Gender (Jose Ignacio Cabezon, editor, State University of New York, pp. 203-214).
PHOTOS: Rihanna S&M (idolator.com), Congressman Weiner (npr.org), Governor Schwarzenegger (seeker401.wordpress.com), Lady Gaga (wikipedia.org), PM Silvio Berlusconi with Pope Benedict head of an army of pedophile priests (bilgrimage.blogspot.com), Charlie Sheen (dabxblogger.com), Ke$ha (dipity.com), Dominique Strauss-Kahn (guardian.co.uk), sex vampire (disclose.tv), Dr. Drew Pinsky (guardian.co.uk), Hugh Hefner (gossiprocks.com).

Anyone who thinks "sex addiction" is "sexy," funny, or fake might ask to visit an SAA meeting then try to keep from cringing as they hear what addicts go through.

Hugh Hefner, "Playboy" or Pandaka?

(Huffington Post) Hugh Hefner has gleefully enjoyed a sexually liberated life. But few know it all started with a little erotic dabbling within the Playboy czar's own family.

In his book, Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream, Steven Watts writes how after Hefner wed his first wife, Millie, in 1949... Hef then went further, trying a foursome out on his own family....

The book also claims Hef once tried a gay tryst. "Hefner's thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience," Watts writes.

Larry Flynt?

Superhero Hef and his superheroine playmates may just be living the American dream revved up after marriage. But Larry Flynt, of Hustler and Flynt Publications fame? He confessed to bestiality and a harsh childhood with difficult parents -- reminiscent of a grown up Cartman

("South Park"). This would go a long way to explaining how he went off the rails from compulsion to obsession to the creation of a pornography empire comparable to Playboy, Inc. only more prurient with its "Chester the Molester" comic strip (echoed in Family Guy's character "Herbert") and accusations of molesting his biological daughter.