Sex study: Light on the Bedroom and Beyond

Kathy Jones (ANI/MedIndia.net, Nov. 15, 2011)

Unhappy pair, happy pair (Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche and admirer ("Crazy Wisdom," movingpicturesnetwork.com)

There have been preconceived notions regarding men and women's attitude toward sex in the last few decades.

It has been taken for granted that men are more oriented towards sex while women are more commitment driven or men look for attractive mates and women go after social status.

However a new study, while defying all these notions has revealed that not all psychologists comply with these gender-essentialist statements.

Psychologist Terri Conley and colleagues of University of Michigan have asserted men think about sex every seven seconds is not true.

And while it's true that men think about sex more often than women do, they also think about other bodily needs, such as food and sleep, more than women do, Live Science reported.

For the study, psychologists asked research participants to record their thoughts throughout the day.

They found that men pondered sex 18 times a day to a woman's 10 times a day, but men also thought about food and sleep proportionately more than women. That suggests sex doesn't hold as vaunted a position for men as one might expect. More

News of the World

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• Penn St. McQueary: I stopped child rape and called cops

  
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• Muslim artist defies Islamic prudes, bares all

Teen Sex? "Not Under My Roof" (book)

Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex

For American parents, teenage sex is something to be feared and forbidden. Sex is often a source of family conflict. But in the Netherlands, where teenage pregnancies are far less frequent than in the US, parents aim above all for family cohesiveness

They often permit young couples to sleep together and provide them with contraceptives. Probing our child-rearing for what it tells us about our culture, Not Under My Roof by Amy T. Schalet offers an intimate and unprecedented account of the different ways girls and boys in both countries negotiate sex, love, and growing up.

Not Under My Roof features personal stories of teens and parents, a sociologically and historically-informed analysis, and a roadmap for guiding US social policy on adolescent sexual health.

Teenagers and sex? It's a controversial subject in America. Different attitudes Dutch parents hold towards teen sex prevent teen pregnancy (with a teenage birthrate four times lower than in the US) and disease.

• VIDEO: Toxins for my baby? Not under my roof
• Allowing Teenage Sex in Your House (Motherlode)
  
• "The Sleepover Question" (NYTimes)
  

Is it a conservative-liberal divide or more?

Justin Bieber raped, may be pregnant

CC Liu, Pat Macpherson, Ashley Wells (Wisdom Quarterly)
MICHAEL JACKSON DOCTOR FOUND GUILTY

First Herman "Koch" Cain, now this. Child music idol Justin Bieber is being accused of having gone "all the way" -- possibly against his will, certainly without his consent. (By law minors are not able to consent to sex).

Now someone is pregnant, and baby, baby, baby Bieber is willing to take a paternity test to prove it is not him, uh, his. One thing's sure: former-child star abusing Conrad Murray will not be conducting that test. No comment yet from girlfriend/beard Selena Gomez.

• LAPD: Bieber baby claim might be rape
  Mariah Laci Yeater probably didn’t expect this to happen: The 20-year-old woman who has filed a paternity suit against Justin Bieber could be investigated for statutory rape.
• Buddhism's "sexual misconduct" defined
  

While these allegations would give little Bieber street credentials with Ludacris and the rap/hip-hop underworld, it would shock and scandalize soccer moms and church groups everywhere.

Was baby Justin, shown here with Ludicrous in possibly the world's most viewed video, statutorily raped by Mariah Laci Yeater (shown below)?

They have already lost former Mouseketeers Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera and with Lindsay Lohan in and out of jail, anti-sex trafficking advocate Ashton Kutcher cheating on Demi, and Drew Barrymore having gotten away with more than all of them (allegedly).

What is our world coming to? Not since the Partridges or Bradys were dating (each other) or Donny and Marie and the Mommas and the Poppas seemed a bit too close have the tabloids had so much to wag about. Oh, Justin, say it ain't so!

• Bieber to take paternity test and sue woman
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• Penn State coach accused of molesting boys
  
• Is sterile Princess Kate Middleton pregnant?
• Herman Cain is accused but not out
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Herman "Koch" Cain: Sexual Harasser?

Wisdom Quarterly, NY Daily News.com

Sharon Bialek, the fourth woman to claim presidential hopeful Herman Cain harassed her, is shown here at a press conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred (TMZ).

Cain, who is funded by the notorious Koch multi-billionaire brothers -- who also funded the Tea Party AstroTurf campaign and Scott Walker's betrayal of the people and unions in Madison, Wisconsin -- is in a lot of trouble.

Rising in the polls, laying waste to Willard "Mittens" Romney and Rick Perry, corporate darling Herman Cain is facing mounting allegations. At least three lawsuits were settled, but only one accuser has since stepped forward and gone public. It would have been nice to finally have black president, but not if he got there by being a worse sell-out than our warmongering yes man, B.S. Obama.

Controversial poster almost revealing a woman's body covered up (steroidtimes.com)

Cain faces fourth sexual harassment claim
New York Daily News
Herman Cain won’t be getting “back on message” anytime soon. Sharon Bialek, a fourth woman accusing Cain of sexual harassment, went public on Monday in a press conference with celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred.

Bialek, a mother of three that Allred introduced as a registered Republican, revealed her encounter with the Republican candidate in 1997 in which she says he crossed the line when she asked him for help getting a job after being let go from the National Restaurant Association's educational foundation.

"He put his hand on my leg under my skirt and reached for my genitals," Bialek said. "He also grabbed my head and brought it to his crotch." At that point, Bialek says, Cain justified his actions by saying, "You want a job, right?" More (+ video)

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Cain feels the heat during DC meeting after fourth emerges (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters).

Study: Women are attracted to other women

Huffington Post, Wisdom Quarterly

Admiring another woman’s looks could have an underlying meaning, because according to recent research, 60 per cent of heterosexual women find other women sexually attractive.

The latest findings from Boise State University discovered that:

• over half of the 484 straight women questioned had been attracted to another female at some point in their lives
  
• a further 45 per cent admitted to kissing a woman
• 50 per cent confessed to enjoying fantasies about other ladies.

“Women are encouraged to be emotionally close to each other. That provides an opportunity for intimacy and romantic feelings to develop,” says Prof. Elizabeth Morgan from the study. A previous study found that the chances of a woman being attracted to other women increases as she get older. More

Sexual Misconduct?
Wisdom Quarterly
"I kissed a girl, and I liked it, taste of her cherry Chapstick," Katy Perry likes to brag. And as a society we love it. And as parents we worry. And as college girls we think we're the only ones. Is bisexuality or lesbianism "sexual misconduct," breaking the third of the Five Precepts?

This is a difficult question. When asked and pressed one very prominent Buddhist scholar-monk told us yes. He may have worried about why we were asking. The question was specifically about women engaging in sex with other women. But since a man was doing the asking -- and since by monastic disciplinary (Vinaya) rules penetration is what counts as intercourse and "defeat" (parajika) -- the venerable elder may have worried more about the questioner than the question.

(androgynousbeauty)

Obviously homosexuality, bisexuality, experimentation, and child molestation (bacha bazi, pederasty, pedophilia) are rampant throughout the world. But almost nowhere are they spoken of freely. The taboo against molestation and incest is not in committing it but in talking about it, particularly by victims. Molestation leads to unwanted sexual feelings.

If there were no homosexual molestation, it is very likely there would still be a significant percentage of homosexuals in the world's population. However, it would not likely carry the stigma it now does due to its being confounded with the very disturbing issue of child molestation.

Sex with children and children having sex with one another is sexual misconduct (kamesu micchacara). The sexist definition of the term is recounted by monks (in the absence of a nun's tradition in the oldest Buddhist monastic disciplinary code, which is only now being revived after a long absence). The term is detailed for monastics since it involves any sexual or erotic behavior. But for lay Buddhists it is limited and somewhat unclear.

Found in the Numerical Discourses, Book of Tens, Discourse 206 (AN X.206), "sexual misconduct" is defined as sex (presumably intercourse) with a female who is protected by (dependent on) any of ten types of guardians. Surely the same applies for females, who in many traditional societies are spoken of as if they had no sexual agency and were merely receptive.

• "Abandoning sexual misconduct, one abstains from sexual misconduct; he does not have intercourse with women who are protected by their (1) mother, (2) father, (3) mother and (4) father, (5) brother, (6) sister, or (7) relatives, who have a (8) husband, who are protected by (9) law, or with those already (10) engaged."

(See Bhikkhu Bodhi translation, In the Buddha's Words, p. 159, based on MN41; Saleyyaka Sutra; I 286-90).

• Study: Brits prefer reading a good book over sex
• Study: Junk food makes healthy men infertile
  

Dung-Like Life to Live (sutra)

Wisdom Quarterly based on Maurice O'Walshe translation

"This is awesome! Should we share it?" "No, let them get their own. They haven't got the good karma to have our abundance!" (Image: laweekly.com).

The Dung Beetle (SN 17.5)

"A fatal thing, practitioners, are gains, favors, and fame -- a bitter, harsh impediment to the attainment of the unsurpassed freedom from bondage [enlightenment and nirvana].

"It is just like a beetle [or cesspool dweller], feeding on dung, full of dung, engorged with dung, standing before a great dung-heap, who might despise other beetles, saying: 'I am a dung-eater, full of dung, engorged with dung, and before me is this great dung-heap!'

"It is the same way, practitioners, if someone is overwhelmed with gains, favors, and fame. That practitioner's head is turned. So having arisen early and taken robe and bowl and gone for alms to the village or market town, one gets one's fill, gets invited again for the next day, and has a full bowl.

"Then one goes to the recluses' park and boasts in the midst of the assembled: 'I have had a good meal, and I am invited again for tomorrow. My bowl is full. I have got [the other requisites as well, namely,] a robe, alms, lodgings, and a sufficient supply of medicines. But these other recluses have little merit and little influence; they do not get [all of these] requisites.'

"Thus this practitioner -- overwhelmed with gains, favors, and fame -- whose head is turned, despises other well-behaved practitioners. But this will bring harm and sorrow to that wretched person for many a long day.

"This goes to show you, practitioners, how disastrous gains, favors, and fame are -- what a bitter, harsh impediment to the attainment of the unsurpassed freedom from bondage.

"Therefore, practitioners, should you train yourselves thus: 'Whatever gains, favors, and fame may come our way, we will reject, lest they should turn our heads.' Thus, practitioners, should you train yourselves."

Regret
Hellmuth Hecker translation (Queen Mallika (Jataka 77 & 314)

Haunting voices were heard. They belonged to four former humans who had lived in the ancient Indian city of Savatthi, who had been seducers of others' spouses.

Through the ripening of their sexual misconduct, they were reborn in a miserable realm. For 30,000 years they sank in red hot iron cauldrons, the heat of which caused a convection cycle. Coming nearer to the fire intensified their unbearable suffering. For another 30,000 years they slowly rose up in those iron cauldrons and were now coming to the rim, where they could once again at least breathe the air of the human realm.

Each one wanted the speak a verse. But because of the gravity of their deeds, they could not get past the first syllable. Not even in sighs could they give voice to their suffering, having long since lost the gift of speech.

The four verses -- which start in the exclusively Buddhist language Pali with "du," "sa," "na," "so" -- were recognized and explained by the Buddha as follows:

Du: Dung-like life we lived,
No willingness to give,
Although we could have given much,
We did not make our refuge thus.

Sa: Say, the end is near?
Already 60,000 years have gone
Without respite the torture is
In this hellish realm.

Na: Naught, no end near, Oh, would it end!
No end in sight for us.
Who once did misdeeds here
For me, for you, for both of us.

So: So, could I only leave this place
And raise myself to human realm,
I would be kind and moral too,
And do good deeds abundantly.

After the king heard these explanations, he became responsive to the request of his compassionate queen and granted freedom to the imprisoned men and animals. He ordered the [ancient Vedic] sacrificial altar to be destroyed.

"Strip naked, Be yourself" (video)

Wisdom Quarterly, Wellsphere.com

WARNING: Re-rated PG from R due to Minute 1:20. Avoid arousal by starting there. The message is simple: To find love, be yourself (Kaiquemr).

Spiritual Balance

The greatest art in spiritual life is finding balance. The entire teaching of the Buddha are summed up in his encouragement to find and travel the Middle Path, which is not about compromising but avoiding extremes of a false dichotomy that is wrong on both sides. To seek neither the extremes (in terms of view) of external existence nor annihilation, neither self mortification nor sensual indulgence, neither faith nor reason [but rather direct experience]. The balance between these is the path of awakening and freedom. The path of balance is to be with what is true in life and to love that, to be committed to the truth on every level. Modified from Christina Feldman and Jack Kornfield, Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart (Tricycle Magazine).

Sex or Meditation? Top 10 Promiscuous Cities

Wisdom Quarterly (SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS COMMITTEE)

In just one hour of trying not to think about sex, Binky discovered how kinky he really is ("Life in Hell" by Matt Groening).

It probably does not happen to anyone else. But when we meditate, our minds tend to drift toward sex. Why the mind likes to relive (past) or imagine (future) pleasant sensation, we cannot fathom.

The eye is not trapped by forms... and the body is not trapped by tactile sensations. If it were enlightened beings would not be free, or freedom would be as easy as sitting alone in the dark.

The mind is like a monkey trapped five times over. Imagine a silly monkey (or rabbit) who has wandered far from its familiar realm. It sees honey and grasps it.

The honey is not only sweet, it's gluey. It can't let go. It grabs the honey with the other hand to get its first hand loose. That hand gets caught, too. It uses a foot, then another foot, and finally its mouth -- and is caught five times over, stuck, in a ridiculous quandary.

The mind obsessed with sex is like that. Its senses fall into bondage. But the honey is sweet! Yes, and the glue is gluey. If we do not rise above, we stay trapped right where we are.

Where are we? CBS News reports that there are ten top cities for furtive honey searches. Mindfully meditating never hurt a monkey. All of its distress came from letting its mind wander far from the present moment. Even the Nazis couldn't keep the monkeys safe.

• VAMPIRE MONKEY: This Chinese sucking species lives solely off other animals’ blood, one of the only primates to do so. It creates complex nests similar to the weaver bird's. It uses handmade tools like humans and is possibly the "missing link" in the evolution of modern humans (Yoon84).

Top 10 Promiscuous Cities in America (CBS News)

Hitler gave NAZIs sex dolls for protection

A new book reveals that the French resistance and Allied bombers weren’t the only threats that Hitler’s Nazi soldiers faced in Paris during World War II. Turns out syphilis -- spread from dalliances with French prostitutes -- presented a more clandestine danger. To combat Nazi soldiers’ temptations from the Parisian joie de vivre, Hitler gave the okay to manufacture blow up sex dolls [invented by Nazis?] as a more hygienic alternative, reports The Herald Sun. More

That Thing (doo wop)

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• There are as many reasons to quit giving up the goods as there are people to stop giving them up. And hey, you can’t really blame them -- hurricanes, earthquakes, tropical storms. Nature is doing some serious blocking.
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• Half human-half goat born alive in Zimbabwe
  
• VIDEO: Extraterrestrial-Human hybrid baby
• HELL TV: Girls love to see themselves on camera
• VIDEO: Hopping the US Border in 15 seconds
• The immigration question is a hot button issue. One bad solution was to build a giant Berlin wall near the Mexican border. But American girls can climb over in 15 seconds.
• Predicting weather and earthquakes (like New Zealand)
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• We can all save KPFA together
• Eccentric or Undiagnosed?
  
• Jain Festival at Mattancherry
  

Western Sex Crimes ("The Whistleblower")

(NPR, July 30, 2011) In 1999, Kathryn Bolkovac had run into hard times. A police officer in Lincoln, Nebraska, who had recently lost custody of her daughters in a divorce settlement, she was looking for a new job that would give her the means to live near them.

• LISTEN: Whistleblower made into a Hollywood heroine
  

When Bolkovac heard she could earn good money in a short period of time by becoming part of the U.N. International Police Force in Bosnia -- run by a private British agency called DynCorp -- she decided to sign on.

She found herself in the middle of an alarming human trafficking web. Mobsters were transporting teenage girls to bars and brothels for sex, and beyond turning a blind eye, the security firm and U.N. personnel seemed to be caught up in the trafficking themselves. She tried to sound the alarm, and she was fired.

Bolkovac, whose story has been adapted into a new movie called The Whistleblower (opening in some theaters on August 5) tells NPR's Scott Simon that her suspicion was first raised during a training session in Ft. Worth, Texas, before she ever left for Bosnia. "One of the men who had done previous missions in Bosnia came bounding into the pool with a beer stating where he could find really nice 12- to 15-year-olds once we got to Bosnia," Bolkovac says. More

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• Hustler Magazine wants Casey Anthony for $500K

Amy Winehouse at world's biggest rock festival

The Origin of Sex (video)

7 Things Husbands Want to Tell Their Spouses

Parasites and Pathogens and how sex began
LiveScience.com

Without the pathogens and parasites of the world, there might be no such thing as sex.

A new study finds that in organisms that can reproduce alone or with a partner, sexual reproduction is the result of a deadly arms race between host and pathogen.

Without the presence of pathogens, the host organism sticks with the tried-and-true method of asexual [sexless] breeding. When threatened by a continually evolving pathogen that gets better and better at killing its host, however, the host organism starts seeking out sex partners.

"You actually need these pathogens or parasites to be co-evolving for sex to be maintained," study author Levi Morran, a postdoctoral researcher at Indiana University, told LiveScience. More

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• Origin of Sex Pinned Down
• A Brief History of Human Sex
• Tiny Creatures Rediscover the Joy of Sex
• The Bizarre Sex Life of an Orchid
• Super Geckos Excel without Sex

Some Buddhist advice on lust

Key passages from Buddhist texts translated by Wisdom Quarterly
(Wonderlane/Flickr.com)

What household-Buddhists do is one thing. What Sangha-members (Buddhist monastics) do is another. The Buddha advised renunciates (monks, nuns, novices, and those training intensively) to be extremely careful to avoid the snare of lust.

Of great advantage is restraint in body, of great advantage is restraint in speech. Of great advantage is restraint in mind, of great advantage is restraint everywhere. The renunciate restrained in everything is freed from all sorrow.

It would be far better to bore out your eyes with red-hot irons than encourage yourselves in sensual thoughts or look upon a man or woman's form with lustful desire.

The renunciate who has retired to a quiet of place [seclusion of heart/mind but not necessarily of body, unless that is needed], who has calmed mind/heart, who clearly perceives the Dharma experiences a joy transcending that of humans.

O renunciates, if you must speak with a [member of the other sex], let it be with pure heart, and think to yourself, “As a renunciate I will live in this corrupting world as the spotless leaf of the lotus, unsoiled by the mud it grows out of.”

If the [person] be old, regard that person as your [parent]; if young, as your [sibling]; if very young as your child.

O renunciates, cover your heads with the helmet of right intention, and abandon with fixed resolve the five [strands of sense] desire.

Lust clouds one's heart when it is confused with [form's] beauty and the mind is dazed.

One who is controlled in hand, foot, speech, and in the highest [head], one who delights in meditation and is composed, one who is solitary and contented -- that person is called a renunciate.

One who holds neither “I” nor “me” at all towards mind and body [a stream enterer or other noble disciple], who grieves not for that which one does not have -- that person, indeed, is called a renunciate.

As the jasmine creeper sheds withered flowers, even so, O renunciates, totally shed lust and hatred. More

(discovermagazine.com)

Gratification, Danger, and Escape – 1
Based on Bhikkhu Bodhi's translation in Anthology of Discourses
Before my enlightenment, O disciples, when I was still a bodhisatta (being striving for supreme enlightenment), this thought occurred to me:

“What is the gratification in the world, what is the danger in the world, and what is the escape from the world?”87

Then I thought:

• “Whatever joy and happiness there is in the world [and there is plenty], that is the gratification in the world;
• That the world is impermanent, pervaded by disappointment, and subject to change, that is the danger in the world;
• The removal and abandoning of [sensual] desire and lust for the world, that is the escape from the world.”

So long, disciples, as I did not fully understand as they really are the world’s gratification as gratification, its danger as danger, and the escape from the world as escape, for so long I did not claim that I had awakened to the unsurpassed perfect enlightenment in this world with its devas, māras, and brahmās [light beings, adversaries, and divinities], in this generation [a biological not chronological reference] with its ascetics and brahmins, its [earthbound-] devas and humans.

But when I had fully understood all this, then I claimed that I had awakened to the unsurpassed perfect enlightenment in this world with…its devas and humans. The knowledge and vision arose in me:

“Unshakable is the liberation of my mind; this is my last birth; there is now no further re-becoming [rebirth].”

• 86. Ajjhupekkhati. This refers to the third itemupekkhā (equanimity, impartiality, unbiased observation], which literally means “onlooking,” that is, detached observation or examination.
• 87. These three terms, which often appear together in the texts, are in Pāli: assāda, ādīnava, nissaraṇa. The commentaries relate them to the Four Noble Truths in this way: “Danger” indicates the truth of suffering [dukkha or disappointment]; “gratification,” the truth of the origin (for pleasure is the stimulus for craving, the true origin of suffering); and “escape,” the truth of the cessation of suffering, or Nibbāna (Sanskrit, nirvana). Although the fourth truth, the truth of the path, is not explicitly mentioned in this triad, it is implied as the means or way of escape.

Is Porn Driving Men Crazy?

Text by english.aljazeera.net

Some experts speculate that pornography is making men more interested in perversity and less interested in their own partners.

It is hard to ignore how many highly visible men in recent years (indeed, months) have behaved in sexually self-destructive ways. Some powerful men have long been sexually voracious; unlike today, though, they were far more discreet and generally used much better judgment in order to cover their tracks.

Of course, the heightened technological ability nowadays to expose private behavior is part of the reason for this change.... What is driving this weirdly disinhibited decision-making? Could the widespread availability and consumption of pornography in recent years actually be rewiring the male brain, affecting men's judgment about sex, and causing them to have more difficulty controlling their impulses?

There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to support this idea. Six years ago, I wrote an essay called "The Porn Myth," which pointed out that therapists and sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation...

The hypothesis among the experts was that pornography was progressively desensitizing these men sexually. Indeed, hardcore pornography's effectiveness in achieving rapid desensitization in subjects has led to its frequent use in training doctors and military teams to deal with very shocking or sensitive situations.

[The military "trains" teams using "hardcore porn"? Might that have something to do with the outrageous rates of rape and sexual assault against fellow soldiers, both male and female, in today's military?] More

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• Yemen president Saleh appears on TV
• Syria condemns US ambassador's visit to Hama
• Texas executes Mexican citizen despite Obama appeal
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Binge-drinking: Why hangovers and bad decisions don't stop us
(CBS) Ever swear off drinking while battling a nasty hangover? You're certainly not alone. Many drinkers experience regrets over one-night stands, shouting matches, and other drunken antics. So why do people continue to drink? Psychologists may finally have found the answer. Simply put... More