Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Origin of Sex (video)


7 Things Husbands Want to Tell Their Spo
uses

Parasites and Pathogens and how sex began
LiveScience.com
Without the pathogens and parasites of the world, there might be no such thing as sex.

A new study finds that in organisms that can reproduce alone or with a partner, sexual reproduction is the result of a deadly arms race between host and pathogen.

Without the presence of pathogens, the host organism sticks with the tried-and-true method of asexual [sexless] breeding. When threatened by a continually evolving pathogen that gets better and better at killing its host, however, the host organism starts seeking out sex partners.

"You actually need these pathogens or parasites to be co-evolving for sex to be maintained," study author Levi Morran, a postdoctoral researcher at Indiana University, told LiveScience. More

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Sex life of the ancient Buddhist nun Isidasi

Wisdom Quarterly edit from Kevin Rielly, Readings in World Civilizations (Vol. 1, The Great Traditions, NY: St. Martins Press, 1995, p. 144-14)
Isidasi, Uppalavanna, Janapada Kalyani, Khema, Prajapati... beautiful Buddhist nuns seem to be the norm now as before.

In the city of Pataliputta, treasured
on Earth for its glorious flowers,
there were two wandering nuns from the Buddha's own Sakya clan.

One was Isidasi Bhikkhuni, the other Bodhi Bhikkhuni,
both of them virtuous, skilled in meditation, wise,
and freed from painful vices.

They walked for alms, ate dana [charitable donations of food],
washed their earthenware bowls,
and found a place to rest and share their stories.

Bodhi the nun: "You're still beautiful, Isidasi.
Your youth has not yet faded.
What dreadful vision drove you
to renounce the world?"

In that place she told her tale to teach the truth of the Buddha's path. Isidasi the nun replied to Bodhi:

"Hear why I am a wandering nun:
In the great city of Ujjeni,
my father was a merchant of great repute.
I was his only daughter,
deeply loved and pampered.

"A wealthy merchant sent noblemen
from the city of Saketa
to arrange a marriage for his son.

And my father gave me to be that merchant son's wife.

"Day and night I humbled myself
to honor my in-laws.
My training made me bow
my head down at their feet.
When I saw my husband's
sisters and brothers,
I cringed and crept away
to free my seat for them.
I kept fresh-cooked food and drink
and spiced appetizers ready
to serve their demands.

"I woke early every morning
to scrub my hands and feet
before I crossed the threshold
to receive my husband's blessing.
Like a slave girl,
I took combs and scented oils
and my mirror to groom him.
I cooked his rice gruel,
I washed his bowl,
I waited on this husband
like a mother doting on her son.

"Though I was diligent and humble,
meticulous and virtuous
in serving him,
my husband despised me!
He begged his parents,
'Give me your leave.
I must go away. I will not stay
in this house with Isidasi!'

"'Don't speak this way, son!
Isidasi is intelligent and wise,
diligent, meticulous.
Why does she not please you, son?'

"'She does me no harm,
but I will not stay with Isidasi.
I detest her! Enough!
Give me leave, I must go away! '

"My husband's parents
heard his words and questioned me:
'How did you offend him?
Confide what really happened.'

"'I committed no offense or harm
or ever answered his cruel words.
I don't know what I did
to make my husband hate me.'

"They took me back
to my father's house.
'To keep our precious son,
we sacrifice this goddess.'

"Then my father married me
into another wealthy house. The second merchant took me
for half the dowry of the first.
I lived in that house
for barely a month,
serving him like a slave until he sent me back.

"Then my father snared a Buddhist ascetic
on his alms round in front of my father's house; he said,
'Be my daughter's husband!
Throw away your robe and bowl and cup! [You will get
a beautiful wife, riches, and this house in return.]'

"He stayed for only two weeks
before he begged my father:
'Give me my robe and bowl!
I'll wander for alms again!'

"My parents and my family
beseeched him:
'What have we neglected?
Quickly, name your every want!'

"He answered, 'I only want enough to feed myself.
I will not stay in this house
with Isidasi!'
They released, him and he left.

"I brooded in my solitude [contemplating how death
would be better than this humiliation]:
'I'll tell them I'm going to die
unless I can renounce and become a wandering nun.'

"Then the great Buddhist nun Jinadatta Bhikkhuni
came walking for alms
to my father's house. She was
disciplined, wise, and virtuous.

"I rose when I saw her
and offered her my seat.
I bowed at her feet
and offered her charity.
I served her fresh-cooked food
and drink and spicy appetizers.

"When she had eaten I said,
'Lady, I want to be a nun.'
My father argued: 'My child,
you may follow the Buddha's path
by offering food and drink to wandering ascetics and brahmins.'

"I pleaded in tears, begging his blessing:
'I must destroy
the unprofitable karma I have done [in past lives]!'"

Isidasi then reported what she had realized in her advanced meditation, which revealed a pattern extending over her eight preceding lifetimes.]

"When I was 16
the son of this merchant
noticed my maiden youth
and took me.
He had another wife,
who was virtuous and ethical,
in love with her husband.

"I sowed discord between them."

[Prior to that, according to the Buddhist nun and modern Abhidharma scholar Sayalay Susila, Isidasi was reborn as a man, a charming goldsmith who seduced and took delight in seducing many men's wives. Without realizing it, he hurt husbands and broke up families. As a result, he was reborn in the niraya (hellish planes of existence where he suffered horribly in ways too terrible for most modern readers to believe). After a very long time -- suffering exponentially more than the suffering he had caused -- he was reborn in the animal realm as an infant male monkey. When brought before the alpha male, that monkey leader immediately bit off the infant's genitals as if sensing and wishing to prevent future rivalry. Thereafter, he was reborn as a hermaphrodite, then again as a female, all stemming from making a habit of sexual misconduct in that former life. The story of past lives relating to her present misery continues in a former life as a female.]

"As a result I was reborn.
The fruit of seven former lives
made three husbands scorn me,
even though I served them like a slave.
I have ended all this now. "

Pandaka: Sex Addiction and Perversion


Sexual Addiction and Perversion
Wisdom Quarterly (ANALYSIS)
The Abhidharma [the "Higher Teaching," an important collection of texts in the threefold division of the Buddha's message] states that a pandaka cannot achieve enlightenment in that lifetime, but must wait for rebirth as a normal man or woman or deva. The question that often goes sufficiently explored is, What exactly is a paṇḍaka? Misunderstanding this terms leads to a great deal of grief, judgment, and confusion.
Ananda -- the Buddha's cousin, attendant, and chief memorizer of sutras -- was said to be a paṇḍaka in one of his many previous lives. What often goes unsaid is how many past lives we have led. The same was said of the Buddhist nun Isidāsī (from the "Pslams of the Sisters" or Therigatha, inspired verses of enlightened Buddhist nuns).
In both cases birth as a was a result of unprofitable karma. The idea that being a pandaka stems from unskillful behavior in a previous life is common in Buddhist literature.
  • Pandaka is variously and unsatisfactorily translated as eunuch, homosexual, or hermaphrodite. The best translation might be "pervert," compulsive sex maniac, transgendered compulsive permiscuous sex maniac, rake, rogue, or wanton libertine often bi or pansexual.
  • How many past lives? There is no counting the number of many past lives living beings have endured in this dismal and abysmal "continued wandering on" that is samsara, the Cycle of Birth and Death. If one were to gather up all the bones from past births in physical form on Earth, the pile would be larger than the highest mountain. The amount of blood shed as beings reborn in dense form only to be beheaded as animals and criminals exceeds the amount of water in the great oceans. The Buddha gives many similes hinting at the incomprehensible number of rebirths already endured.
"Perverts" whose compulsion is to act out with many partners and/or creatures are obsessed with sexual acting out. That obsession may very well not be the result of their own deeds in that life.

For example, they may have been molested, traumatized, or otherwise abused setting them on a perilous trajectory of sexual misconduct, prostitution, disease, child molesting, bestiality, sexual addiction, treachery, drug abuse, and so on.

In ancient India, where the term pandaka originates, "pervert" has been used to refer to varying degrees of "perversion." As time changes, what is considered aberrant or non-normative changes.

There was certainly a time when homosexuality was unthinkable. However, what is neglected in most discussions, is that what is "homosexual" changes. Our modern American definition does not have an equivalent. The Western world does not agree what this term means even now. This country does not agree on what it means from location to location, and our definition changes over time.



While this may be hard for many readers to fathom, because after all we are talking about modern America, others may be sympathetic to the fact that behavior in prison, jail, same sex schools, slumber parties, during prepubescent experimentation, early developmental phases, or drunken episodes follows different rules.

Most Americans probably do not think simple same sex attraction is "perverted." But that is only a recent development. Male homosexuality is often treated as worse or more offensive than equivalent female behavior. Various reasons are given for this, but all of these are social constructs not "natural" categories.

We applaud girl-on-girl kissing; does that mean it is not homosexual (lesbian) or not "perverted." It used to be.

With males, the case is more ludicrous. In prison, in various cities, and in the minds of many Americans, "homosexuality" is not as much about states (behavior) so much as traits (character). So one could engage in gay activities and not consider oneself gay.

For example, the one on top is "straight" and "masculine" and "virile," whereas the bottom (recipient) is "bent" and "effeminate" and "weak." The absurdity -- our hypocrisy -- is that attributions flip depending on the act, in this case going from intercourse to oral sex.

Pandaka is most frequently translated as "eunuch." But eunuch in India, even today, does not mean what eunuch means to European and North American ears.

Basically, an aberrant gender-bending individual -- lesbian, bisexual, gay, or questioning -- is regarded as a "pervert" (pandaka). A pervert may be perverted, by the standards of his or her day. In ancient India and particularly in Biblical times, cross-dressing or transgender behavior was a crime punishable by death.

Transgender identification, malformed or incompletely formed genitalia, hormonal issues, fetishes, sexual addiction (rapacious appetite, masturbation, or compulsive acting out), child molestation, raping (outside of one's family, caste, or social station), or "flaming" behavior might well earn one the socially-constructed label.

The karma behind it, according to Sayalay Susila, seems to be obsessing. If a man wishes to be a female in the future and has the good karma to power that wish, he may become a female. If a man wishes to NOT become a female and he has the bad karma to power it, his very obsession may result in rebirth as a female. Mind is the forerunner. As the mind (thought, consciousness) goes, so goes intention. From intention follows "action" (mental, verbal, or physical karma). The result of karma is resultants and fruits.

Harming others, humiliating others, insulting others, molesting others, cheating, adultery, dividing others -- all of these may become sexual misconduct with tragic consequences as Isidasi found.

Misunderstanding the definition of pandaka leads to the exclusion or condemnation of gays when Buddhism does not mean a medical hermaphrodite, eunuch, or person with a gay impulse all of which stem from karma, whether developed in this life or previous ones.

Any person has the right to develop welcome and profitable karma every chance one gets, and human life is that chance. Indeed, all are welcome in Buddhism.

Pandaka Festivals are annual events in India. It is a time of debauchery, cross dressing, homosexual revelry, alcohol and drug abuse, adultery, sodomy, and all manner of societally-condemned behavior. The event is certainly not limited to the reviled modern pandaka (an widely feared amalgam of pervert, criminal, heartless male prostitute, bully, and panderer).

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Karma: The Royal Wedding Dress (photos)

Wisdom Quarterly
How better to make a splash than to employ a little shock value? It would not be the first time, as Kate's see through college dress (right) shows. Her official selection was see through but longer than expected:

The most photographed woman on Earth, the beautiful Princess Kate Middleton (not to be her official title due to House of Windsor technicalities), has to surprise the world. And what better way than following on the heels of her last runway modeling adventure? We predict that she will be showing off her youthful form. Not since Jackie O's , Jennifer Aniston's hair, or Princess Diana's dress has there been this much made of a fairytale wedding.



But "commoner" Catherine Middleton's story is better because she is descended from coal miners and her prince, combat-ready William, is second in line for the throne. He could actually become monarch of one of the world's great super powers. It is not the US alone but the Old World banking interests (along with Germany) that rule the world by proxy. Weddings are wonderful! Marriages, not so much. Kate Middleton will be the epitome of a British Berketex bride:


British pro-feminist punk mavericks, Crass, perform "Berketex Bribe"


PHOTOS: 1. Sexy, see through wedding dress (fashion-gallery blog); 2&6. Kate's St. Andrew's University fashion show see through dress used to first attract Prince William Spencer (celebritynewsandstyle.com & shinystyle.tv); 3. first view of the partially see through wedding dress by Sarah Burton for Alexander (SkyNews/telegraph.co.uk); 4. new wedding dress options (artndesigns.org); 5. sexy wedding dress (wedding-beginning.com); 7. Prince William and Catherine Middleton (AP); 8. "Love at first sight" (Lin Pernille); 9. official photograph of the wedding dress (telegraph.co.uk); 10. "Heartbreak" (sivgal.blogspot.com).
Why Kate, Why Not Me?
Karma distinguishes beings -- high and low, beautiful and homely, rich and poor, smart and slow, long-lived and short-lived, coupled and alone, and so on.

In the "Smaller Exposition on Karma Discourse" (Culakammavibhanga Sutta), the Buddha states the following:

"Beings are the owners of their karma [their store of intentional deeds, whether physical or verbal or mental, both those ripening in happiness or suffering], heirs of their karma. They originate from their karma, are bound to their karma, have their karma as their guide."

The Buddha urged disciples to tear down the forest of defilements -- states and traits within the categories greed, hatred, and delusion -- the roots of all suffering. In their place, he encouraged them to cultivate such habits as generosity, compassion, and wisdom.

We reap what we sow: Karma
When we experience the fruits and results (states and circumstances) of seeds (actions) we planted, it is because what we planted is finally coming to fruition. Actions ripen opportunistically -- as soon as they meet the right causes and conditions, even tens of thousands of years later.

Without them as the basis, good things do not arise for us. When that good is exhausted, as it inevitably must be, pleasant and welcome circumstances fall away.

"Love at first sight" is no accident but the result of karma (Lin Pernille/Flickr.com).


Good karma is easy to accept, and we have no trouble accepting credit even if we do not remember what we did to deserve our good fortune (because it is usually not done in this life).

It is far more amazing and difficult to believe, but when a thief and criminal enjoys ill-gotten gains, it is only because of former good karma.

"Crime does not pay" because when this bad karma ripens, it will ripen in suffering. It is not ripening immediately. The good one is experiencing is not due to stealing!

It is impossible that it should be otherwise: All the good one is experiencing is being experienced due to good karma. All that we are doing is our present karma, the results of which will be experienced later.

(This clarifies the apparent contradiction that crime does obviously pay since criminals sometimes go a long time without meeting with the negative repercussions of their choices. It is only an apparent contradiction. In reality, good results in what is welcome and pleasant, bad in what is unwelcome and difficult to bear).

Understanding this, beings are wise to engage again and again in meritorious deeds (good karma, any actions motivated by nongreed, nonhatred, and/or nondelusion). It is not every world that one has the opportunity to make good karma -- whether by negligence in superior worlds of pleasure or preoccupation with pain in inferior worlds.

Like attracts like: Good begets good, and bad begets bad. "Good" and "bad" are very unfortunate translations since we have an aversion to oversimplifications. Skillful, wholesome, profitable are all translations for kusala, the opposite being akusala.

These actions are not "rewarded" and "punished" as such; they follow an impersonal law of attraction. They rarely ripen immediately but are able to lay dormant for aeons. Therefore, one should not judge another as "good" or "bad" based on circumstances. For we all have seeds of good and bad, and any ripening is burning that karma off (exhausting the good and lightening our load of bad). The potential we have is incredible. The opportunity we have to do good now, to plant seeds now, to make the most of what we have is even more incredible.

That one should become a queen is not unusual. It would not be possible if she did not deserve it. Envying her or being jealous is demeritorious karma for us. Rejoicing in her good fortune, the ripening of former well done deeds, profitable and ripening in pleasure, is good karma for us now. Sovereignty in the human world is not a very high thing relative to other possibilities: it is short-lived, often mixed with strife, and uncertain.

That same good karma could have ripened in superior worlds where it would last longer, be purer, and be more stable. It is, to give a simile, like being beautiful only in elementary school as opposed to blossoming in high school. We would all wish to be beautiful everywhere at all times for all the benefits it brings, but life becomes more important and significant. For all the good it does Kate Middleton to become a real life princess (actually Duchess of Cambridge), how much better might her good karma have ripened later on?

We do not want to wait, desiring immediate gratification. But waiting would often benefit us, whereas rushing soon leaves us disappointed, unfulfilled, and un-actualized.

Will I Ever Find My Prince/Princess?
An elderly couple once came to the Buddha. They expressed their love for one another, having been promised in marriage to each other from a young age.

Their wish was to meet again, to be reborn together, to be a couple again. The Buddha told them how they could accomplish this and thereby become "twin flames" or "soul mates" in a future life:

The "ideal couple," as they were called, once came to the Buddha and said, "Venerable sir, we married after being acquainted from childhood, and there has never been a cloud on our happiness. Please tell us if we can be married in the next life?"

The Buddha answered, "If you both have exactly the same faith, both receive the same teaching [regarding morality] in exactly the same way, and if you have the same wisdom, then you will have the same mind in the next birth."

Whether or not all of this is done, those bonded by the karma of love and hate (attachment and aversion), will meet again as they have met many times. The business started now is not finished now but rises like flames out of embers again and again. Far wiser is it to let go, forgive, and abandon these habits unless we wish to again meet one another with an instant attraction or animosity.