BREAKUP: "Be Gentle With Me" (comedy)

Wisdom Quarterly

"Be gentle with me, oh oh, be gentle with me...please be gentle with me, handle with care, be gentle with me...or I shall kick your teeth in."

Breaking up is hard to do, they say. But it depends. It certainly is if one repeatedly reflects on the appealing qualities of the lost person.



However, if one were to from to time consider and reflect on the unappealing aspects, that clinging and pining would vanish.



One would become disenchanted, disillusioned, dispassionate. And then it would be possible to be freed. There is, of course, a trap. If one pushes away from the pain, that is just as dangerous as clinging to the pleasant in the first place. Aversion is as hard to deal with as undue attraction.

"Garden of Love" (Benny Hill)

Hate quickly replaces love -- without displacing it. One is then attached and angry, hurt and seeking some way of ridding oneself of the pain, the memory, the intrusive thoughts.







Wise reflection (yoniso manasikara) sees things as they truly are -- neither ignoring the bad nor exaggerating the good.



With freedom comes laughter again. Everything is funny. Everything is light. Everything is fine just as it is, because fine/not-fine is all in the mind that judges it so. With a different decision, the world seems to change. There is no out there without an in here.



Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and you can cry alone. (Misery loves company, but the company soon wearies of les contagious miserable).

Be sure to have the number to cancel.

A natural solution without harmful chemical pharmaceuticals? (welltabs.com)

Heartbreak: My Partner Left Me!!!

"No, not again, O, what a man, just who I thought that I wanted to have. O, don't do that. Don't use that bat. That's all it takes to make me falling flat. No, not again, the loser I am. I love you tonight. You are my knight. Pure and assure to make me feel all right. Tomorrow you'll find that I'm not around. But don't be uptight because I loved you last night. Vacant and free, yeah, that is me. Just tell me how, and I'll please for free. Tell me I'm good. I know I'm bad. Lies make me feel fine although it is sad... (The Cardigans sing about abuse to the tune of the terrifying "Black Sabbath" by Black Sabbath)

The Younger Woman: Why a husband’s decision to leave might be the best thing that could have happened

Patti Carmalt-Vener (Pasadena Weekly, August 4, 2011)

Dear Patti: One night a year ago my husband of 30 years announced he’d fallen in love with another woman and was moving out. I later found out he was having an affair with a female coworker half his age. At first I was in shock, but I really believed that after the initial excitement of being with someone younger, he’d realize they had nothing in common and their affair would end. For the past year we’ve been meeting monthly to have coffee or a drink together, and I’ve been waiting for him to come home.

Two days ago, he said he didn’t want to hurt me but that he wanted me to know he had filed for divorce. The shock and pain poured over me, because I finally realized John would never be coming back. He feels friendship, sorrow and pity but he doesn’t see me as someone he wants anymore.



How could I have been so naïve and foolish as to believe he’d leave an exciting younger woman for me? I feel so frumpy, old and washed up right now. I’d never hurt myself, but I wonder if I’ll ever want to really live again. The idea of starting over seems too big a task to tackle. – Maggie







Dear Maggie: You’ve been using denial to defend against the painful truth that John isn’t coming back. The chance for you to start a new life began when you refused to deny the reality any longer that your marriage is over. Feeling as if you’ve hit rock-bottom is sometimes what it takes to start rebuilding a completely new self. While the grief, pain, and even rage might seem unbearable at first, they will eventually subside if you allow those feelings to wash over again and again. People who are unable to heal are those who refuse to face their loss and suppress their negative emotions through activities such as drinking, drugs and overworking. More





Why go in search of a solution?

Wisdom Quarterly

What brings us to the Dharma? It's nice to think it's a Noble Quest, some search for Truth, or the altruistic desire to save all living beings. But it is often suffering that spurs the search. Siddhartha would not have left his luxurious palaces if it were not for suffering and the realization that all existence is beset by this wide ranging problem called dukkha in ancient India. So one needn't let the initial motive deter one. Make as much progress as possible, learning and meditating, being kind to others and spreading the message that there really exists a "complete end to suffering" (nirvana). Wisdom Quarterly could always use help. For soon someone else will come along and distract us all over again. Or we'll resort to drinking and drug use. (What do you think that prescription was?) Or we'll sink into misery unutterable and make everyone around us miserable. It has been this way for countless lives.

• Exercises to keep our brains in shape
• AUDIO: Is it wise to judge a situation?
• VIDEO: Relationships are just a Complicated Game
  
  

Good News: Big Lies About AIDS

Gary Null Ph.D. (garynull.com)

The Myth of AIDS (trendsupdates.com)

Eleven years ago Dr. Peter Duesberg was a lone voice in the world of AIDS research. At that time, the molecular biologist, world-renowned virologist, and UCLA professor began asking a question that seems like heresy to this day: Is it possible that we were wrong when we equated HIV with AIDS?

While any scientific discussion should allow such a challenge, others tried to silence Dr. Duesberg. AIDS research [the highly profitable industry] continues to be driven by the hypothesis that HIV is the cause, with virtually all our medical and scientific resources invested in this hypothesis.

But several outstanding scientific voices are joining Dr. Duesberg in denouncing this approach.

Witness the report published in mid-1993 by a group of Australian researchers led by Dr. Eleni Papadopoulos-Eleopulos. In this breakthrough report, the scientists raise serious questions about the accuracy of HIV antibody tests and, more important, the very relationship between HIV and AIDS.

They show that the HIV tests produce inconsistent results, both within one laboratory that tested a sample twice and between two labs that tested the same sample. What's more, it's nearly impossible to determine the rate of "false positives" [who are put on profitable drugs that then lead to many of the symptoms of AIDS by knocking out the immune system] because there is no "gold standard" to independently verify test results, as reported in the New York Native.

And that's not all. Among other things, the researchers also found that HIV cannot be isolated in all AIDS patients. Yet, HIV can be found in people who are HIV-antibody negative.

They found that people with non-AIDS diseases have antibodies that can register a positive result on the HIV-antibody test. [If one tests positive, particularly on the many free tests available to the elation and likely lobbying of pharmaceutical interests, it is likely a false positive; test again when health improves and find that suddenly there's no HIV/AIDS since most tests shockingly test for correlated symptoms not actual disease.]

(virusmyth.tripod.com)

They found that the p24 antigen is not, as is widely believed, an indicator of HIV infection or AIDS. Indeed, people with multiple sclerosis, T-cell lymphoma, generalized warts, and other diseases have the p24 antigen.

In short, it's time to face the disturbing notion that much of what we've been told about AIDS is incorrect.

Here are some of the factors that have led scientists to challenge the well-entrenched hypothesis that HIV equals AIDS: More

• The Myth of a Heterosexual AIDS Pandemic
• Ending the AIDS Myth: It is not a contagious disease
• Despite common belief, there is no scientific evidence to this day that AIDS is a contagious disease. The current AIDS theory falls short in predicting the kind of AIDS disease an infected person may be manifesting, and there is no accurate system to determine how long it will take for the disease to develop. In addition, the current HIV/AIDS theory contains no reliable information that can help identify those who are at risk of developing AIDS.
• Myths About HIV-AIDS
• AIDS: The HIV myth