Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Friday, November 18, 2011

OMG! A "Twilight" sequel! (cartoon)

Amber Dorrian and my kid sister "Bela" not Bella (Wisdom Quarterly)


Breaking Dawn premieres. The forces of the Moon versus those badly affected by the Moon. "Twilight" is basically Dracula vs. Wolfman. Only the vampires are melodramatic and the wolves are so CGI. This series is a mess. But, melodrama can be good. Soap opera thrillers for tweens who need a romantic lead are keeping the mall theaters alive.



Giggly Bieber kids and gayish gothy teens are outnumbered by horndog moms. Fans everywhere are sure to keep this blockbuster going. And that's good. It's keeping "romance" alive. And there's nothing higher to live for. So get used to it.



The world needs more Harry Potter with heavy petting because Emma Thompson isn't doing anything to meet our need for sizzle. Taylor Lautner is pure peach fuzz for a hirsute leading man. Robert Pattinson is very, very Brit'ish. And Kristen Stewart's lesbian child molester kiss with Dakota Fanning was a real let down.


Friday, November 4, 2011

Zen Buddhism with Alan Watts (Sunday radio)

Roy (of Hollywood) Tuckman, KPFK FM, Pacifica Radio, Wisdom Quarterly
The Book by Alan Watts is a stunning essay on “the taboo against knowing who you are.” In particular, he offers a devastating critique for any looking to “change the world” (Illustration: Randal Roberts/Ianmack.com).


What's the meaning of American music and life? (More)

Alan Watts Sundays, 8:00 am PST, 11:00 am EST
KPFK (90.7 FM), Los Angeles or listen worldwide
For more than 40 years Alan Watts has earned a reputation as one of the foremost interpreters of Zen and Eastern philosophies for the West. Listen free online.

Beginning at the age of 16, when he wrote essay for the journal of the Buddhist Lodge in London, he developed an audience of millions who were enriched through his books, recordings, and lectures on radio, television, and in public appearances.

In all, Watts has written more than 25 books and recorded hundreds of lectures and seminars, all building toward a personal philosophy he shares candidly and joyfully with his and listeners throughout the world.

His overall works have presented a model of individuality and self-expression that can be matched by few philosophers. The three main sources for Alan Watts tapes and information are:
More can also be found at: alanwatts.net and alanwatts.com


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Why I could never be a Christian (video)

Wells, Xochitl, Liu (Wisdom Quarterly)

What cabal controls this back-door government and its front-office administrations? And what spirit possessed this good person to stand on her dung heap reviling everyone else's?
This seems to prove that a fundamentalist can easily be possessed by the "dark side" s/he so fears. We saw this when it originally aired and never got over it. We don't blame good Saint Issa, nor do we think that all or even most Christians are like this. Yet, our psyches still feel damaged. An amazing accomplishment if it is Mara or some other inimical force (like FOX) at the root of this astounding display of all that's wrong with closed minded people. What set off this good person? She was exposed to a liberal radio show discussing the unthinkable, atheism, as seen here on "Trading Spouses."


Reality? This aired on broadcast TV in prime time.


Jesus Camp for children -- with parental force.



(BBC) Creationists conquer evolution and high school.

Split California: Liberal/Conservative (comedy)

Wisdom Quarterly

Watching the News with Pacifica Radio's (KPFK Los Angeles) brilliant comedian Jimmy Dore on "The Young Turks"

Comedy and Everything ElseThe Jimmy Dore ShowWatching the News with Jimmy DoreLeft, Right & Ridiculous


Conservative versus Liberal

Protest: Buddhist Under a Train (video)

Wisdom Quarterly


What protests should look like, so let's get it together, people.

What it did look like in the 60s, all black and white, good versus evil. But a Buddhist senselessly ended up under a train.


How to be a "hippie"


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Should I be Liberal or Conservative? (test)

Wisdom Quarterly editors Seven and Ashley Wells

I want to be rich, so that makes me liberal. I am poor, so that makes me conservative. Anyone who wants to conserve this system is, by definition, a corporate-welfare-loving "conservative." Obama, for example. Anyone who wants change, equality, fairness and justice for all regardless of categories or labels we put on them from birth is radical and rises on the side of being liberal.

I am rich, so that makes me conservative. I want to be poor, so that makes me liberal. Anybody who wants to change this system is, by definition, some kind of human-welfare-loving "liberal." Bush, for example. Anybody who wants preservation, inequality, "fair and balanced" news and justice for some depending on labels and the categories we put them in is reactionary and falls on the side of being conservative.
  • But everybody wants to be richer!
  • Yes, but not everyone wants to be richer by making others poorer. That's a cruel delusion many people carry around. We can have a win-win cooperative world. Instead, many push for a win-lose competitive world. What does the conservative media feed us?
  • I can be rich and kind to everyone?
  • Yes, be rich; have compassion; think of yourself AND others! It's called "enlightened self-interest." We don't have to be like Cartman...or Stan.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fake Buddha quotes on Web (video)

Wisdom Quarterly
Hilarious satire from collegehumor.com's "Facebook Quote Buddha" is good humor, not so Tricycle and others' fake Buddha quotes.

There is an issue that pervades the Internet -- misquotes attributed simply to "Buddha." (And we don't mean sensational humor or satire).

Oddly, many of these are usually misinterpretations of America's favorite Buddhist discourse, the Kalama Sutra.

This is odd because it is exactly the "Message to the Kalamas" (AN 3.65) that suggests how to distinguish Dharma from non-Dharma, what would be good to accept as truth and what would be better rejected.
The Kalama discourse is an invitation to open inquiry. But abbreviations say it means "Think whatever you want," "Believe no one and nothing," or "It's all good!" Homer Simpson may think it's all good, but the Buddha had much more enlightened advice on dealing with what circulates as "truth."

The only way to be sure if the historical Buddha, the "Sage of the Shakyas," said something is to look for the mark of legitimacy then check that citation against the texts.* In parentheses there should be a citation that refers to sutra's collection and location as in "AN 3.65," which means Anguttara Nikaya, "Numerical Discourse Collection" and its exact "address" within that collection of sacred texts.
  • Buddha? Who is "Buddha"? In Mahayana Buddhism and Hinduism the name refers to countless bodhisattvas and deities. In Theravada and for careful readers, the title refers to the historical Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, and to a very limited number (28) of historical buddhas he named and one future buddha he described (Maitreya). Those buddhas ("Supremely Enlightened Ones") are revered every month in Theravada temples, where each has a name and the aeons they lived and made known the path to freedom, the timeless Dharma that is always there to be rediscovered by anyone who develops the Ten Perfections (paramitas, reduced in Mahayana to six, just as the 31 Planes of Existence the historical Buddha outlined were reduced to six) with the intention of liberating others.
*NOTE: Just because it has a reference or citation and is in the texts, that does not mean the Buddha said it. Often translations are poor and only looking at the original language will do. But even then, even if it is handed down and accepted, that still does not mean the historical Buddha said it. Does it agree with teachings or is it at odds with them, does it conduce to wisdom, compassion, and liberation? Buddhism is not for faith and belief, but rather for practice and realization. Most Mahayana literature was not uttered by the historical Buddha -- and it often does not claim to be. But most readers assume it is, and it does not help matters that much of it misleadingly begins, "Thus have I heard."

Monday, September 19, 2011

Harrison's on his way to Asia ("Go Harrison")

"GoHarrison" live video app for Facebook by Ustream
Pacifica radio host, along with alternative news anchor Mercy Malick (pictured left), Cary Harrison is on his way to Asia. He will be traveling on a fact finding mission to Hiroshima, touching many Asian nations along the way.


The wonders of Asia (Sup3rkiddo)

Watch out, Jane Fonda. Cary should be appearing on "enemy" posters any day now. The good news is that the Monday 2:00 pm (PST) broadcasts will continue as usual, exposing viewers to the world beyond our glorious external borders and our quiet internal colonialization thanks to news blackouts.

Mercy Malick, the next Cokie Roberts?

Friday, September 16, 2011

Scientology vs. Reitman (Daily Show video)


Center for Inquiry West
Janet Reitman in conversation
Sunday, Sept. 18, 2011
11:00 am in Hollywood

Scientology, which created in 1954 by prolific sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard, claims to be the world’s fastest growing religion. The organization claims it has millions of members around the world and huge financial holdings. But Scientology is also a notably closed "faith," harassing journalists and others through litigation and intimidation, even infiltrating the highest levels of the government to further its goals. Its attacks on psychiatry and its requirement that believers pay thousands of dollars for salvation have drawn scrutiny and skepticism. And ex-members use the Internet to share stories of harassment and abuse.

Based on her five years of research, unprecedented access to Church officials, confidential documents, and extensive interviews with current and former Scientologists, Janet Reitman now offers the first full journalistic history of the Church of Scientology. She provides an evenhanded account that at last establishes the truth about the controversial religion. More

Thursday, September 15, 2011

"Family Guy" to premiere in theatres (free)

(Fan favorite "Road to Multiverse") America's No. 1 family enters its 10th season midnight on Thursday at AMC Century City 15 in LA and in New York, Chicago, Boston, Dallas...

Science confirms that laughter is good medicine, so here is a major dose of innovative animation. The Buddha was perhaps the only major religious figure frequently depicted as happy, jovial, and laughing -- and for good reason. Enough with the stiffness of austerity and onto the joy here and hereafter.

(LA Times) In celebration of the show’s 10th anniversary, the funny side of the FOX network is spotlighting the Griffin household -- Stewie, Brian, Peter (Seth MacFarlane), Lois, Chris, and Meg (Mila Kunis) -- with a 10-city, one-night-only, exclusive midnight viewing of an exclusive episode as well never-before-seen footage, trivia, and giveaways.

  • Also in: Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Minneapolis, New York, Philadelphia, Phoenix, and Seattle

Tickets for the Southern California event are free on a first-come, first-served basis and can be reserved at familyguyLA@gmail.com.

The new episode that will be screened is called “Lottery Fever,” which finds the Rhode Island family struggling to stay grounded after finding themselves holding a winning ticket. The especially subversive 2009 episode “Road to Multiverse” will also be screening, having been picked for the occasion by fans voting via Facebook. The screenings will also include a 22-minute bonus feature from the forthcoming “Family Guy” DVD, due on shelves on Dec.13, 2011.


Afghan-style monoliths on Buddhist isle (itchypaws)

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

New Book Exposes Scientology (video)

Scientology is explained at Minute 3:55 by Jiminy Glick and Dennis Miller

What's Xenu With You?
Text by David Cotner (laweekly.com)

Unlike Diuretics, the book that supports the science of matter over mind [as opposed to the opposite], Dianetics is a work [by science-fiction author L. Ron Hubbard] of spiritual inquiry that in 1954 launched the international, inter-generational discipline known as Scientology.

Understandably, its followers are a passionate lot, which occasionally brings them into conflict with others in ways that are, shall we say, rather impressive in terms of the level of zeal employed.



Launching into the breach between fact and fiction, Rolling Stone contributing editor Janet Reitman discusses and signs Inside Scientology: The Story of America's Most Secretive Religion (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt).

Not to be confused with Robert Kaufman's groundbreaking 1972 expose Inside Scientology: How I Joined Scientology and Became Superhuman, Reitman's book examines everything from hardcore acolytes to the disaffected apostates -- both groups inextricably linked to the gravity of Scientology.

Even though Reitman received unparalleled access to Scientology officials, hitherto unseen documents and five years' worth of interviews, Scientology always brings out dueling factions - - so ditch that Zoloft and enjoy the fireworks!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

If I Had a Pony: "Charlie the Unicorn" (video)

Wisdom Quarterly (post "Burning Man" post)
"Shun the nonbeliever" on the way to kidney-free Candy Mountain with Charlie and friends.


Burning Man from Space
Burning Man from 373 miles above Earth: A European space satellite took photos of the 2011 Burning Man [Labor Day week] festival in the Nevada desert.

(CSM) Burning Man is a weeklong art and self-expression festival that meets every year around Labor Day. This year, it runs from Aug. 29 to Sept. 5. Attendance was capped at 50,000, and the event sold out in July. This year marks the 25th anniversary... The event began modestly in 1986, when a handful of friends torched an 8-foot (2.4-m) wooden man on a San Francisco beach. More

(englishrussia.com)

Is There "Evil" in the World? (video)

Wisdom Quarterly (revisiting a question)
The banality of "evil" -- What would possess humans to such conduct? Otherworldly entities or our own psychological makeup?

There are unseen beings -- yakkhas, petas, narakas, bhummmi-devas, nagas, kumbandhas, and so on -- in Buddhist lore. They correspond to those of European legend: ogres and "demons," spirits of the dead, hellions, mischievous faeries, reptilians, dwarfs, trolls, gnomes, and poltergeists in general.

Like humans, they have personalities and tendencies. They are not strictly malevolent, but are subject to anger, jealousy, territoriality, and delusion.

They may communicate with humans, some of whom due to past karma are able to see them, offer advice, mislead, or even haunt. They frequently inhabit the wilderness and old homes but are, as in the case of pretas ("hungry ghosts" who linger after they have passed from the human world due to strong attachment).


What is "Evil"?
Evil is an interesting concept. We must separate it from Judeo-Christian connotations. There is Mara, a tempter figure in Buddhism who sounds like Lucifer but is more akin to the ancient Greek Cupid. He is not the devil. The Buddha often referred to him as Namuci ("the Evil One") because of his misguided tendency to obstruct attempts at enlightenment and liberation from the sensual realm.

Mara's "evil" is human-evil. That is to say, the roots of good and evil are present in all of us at birth to a greater or lesser degree. These are known as the Three Poisons:
  1. Greed (lobha)
  2. Hate (dosa)
  3. Delusion (moha)


They are best understood as categories. Under "greed" falls: selfishness, lust, envy, jealousy, lack of consideration. Under "hate" falls: fear (bhava, which is so serious that it is sometimes categorized separately as a fourth poison of the heart) annoyance, irritation, anger, vengeance, ill-will, spite, begrudging, blaming, and unfriendliness. Under "delusion" falls: wrong-views, misperception, distortion of reality, ignorance, sophistry, and foolishness.

There are said to be many maras (obstructors). They can, and often are in the commentaries, viewed as mental defilements and hindrances to virtue, concentration, and wisdom rather than as independent entities.

The ogres (yakkhas) who support Mara are called "demons," but this is misleading. They are from an external point of view beings reborn on the basis of anger. Their good karma has led to a less unfortunate state than might have been, for they can be powerful, clever, and influential.

That a mara could wield influence over them is only because of that being's own good karma having come to fruition placing it in possession of great powers, now misused in the service of lust, anger, and delusion. But Mara's goal, unlike the Christian conception of Satan, is not that beings end up in the hells.

Even Yama, the mythological "king" or "judge" of the dead, does not want that. Mara, like Cupid, is instead an obstacle to liberation, wishing everyone to remain within his sphere of influence, which is the Sense Sphere (kama-loka).
The tormented narakas, denizens of various unfortunate destinations commonly referred to as hells, none of which are eternal but do last a miserably long time, might appear in the world only to warn someone or to grab a moment of respite, their karma allowing.

Pretas -- who are often confused, lacking direction and motivation, and are terribly sad and hungry in their pathetic state -- likewise do not mean to harm. They stand at the edges around houses wishing to come in, it is said in the Petavatthu. They are the ill-born departed.

Something can be done for them, by way of offering and merit in their name. This helps them move on IF, looking on, they approve of such actions. (It is their own mental karma, that of rejoicing in well done deeds, that liberates them, not some magical transference of merit).

But malcontent or disturbed pretas -- the "ungrateful dead" -- can sometimes become poltergeists. Modern parapsychological research reveals that this tends to happen in the presence of pre-adolescents, whose vital energies can be misdirected.

As for the others, nagas (powerful beings, particularly reptilians) and devas (demigods, whose lives are like that of the gods of the Greek pantheon) and so on, they are "evil" to a degree -- just as humans are evil to a degree.

Even celestial devas (radiant light beings inhabiting space) have not, generally speaking, overcome and eradicated greed, hatred, and delusion. Having suppressed these hindrances and contaminants of the heart, having undergone a fortunate rebirth based on some skillful karma (any deed, word, or thought rooted in nongreed, nonhatred, or nondelusion), they are beautiful, long lived, and enjoy many delights.

Their lives, too, are temporary. They are reborn in the future according to their karma, their "just desserts." Only the arahants, the enlightened ones, have overcome all that can upset. Only the Arya have even set foot on that route to freedom from all suffering.

Is there evil in the world? Yes, when defined as the Three Poisons. Is there good? Absolutely, when defined as the converse of those poisoned states of mind. Good can be summarized into three categories:
  1. Nongreed: generosity, beneficence, love for oneself as one loves others and vice versa (metta), compassion (karuna), happiness in others' happiness (mudita), impartiality (upekkha). [These four are called Divine Abidings, Brahma Viharas, here and now.]
  2. Nonhatred: forbearance, forgiveness, fearlessness, friendliness, loving-kindness, tolerance.
  3. Nondelusion: wisdom, right-view (samma-ditthi), insight, understanding in accordance with the truth, knowledge, clear comprehension, mindfulness of what is in this very moment.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Klassikal Musik for Kids (video)

Comedy and classical music? Only on KUSC (Univ. of Southern California, Los Angeles)



Tiger moms, listen up. A number of years ago, Richard Perlmutter was toying with the idea of creating lyrics set to masterpieces of classical music when one day, while humming Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, the phrase "Beethoven's Wig is very big" popped into his head.



"It really resonated with my objectives because the words fit perfectly with the first eight notes of the symphony," recalls Perlmutter. "Besides, the wig is sort of like a mascot for classical music."







After dressing up the entire first movement with lyrics that are charged with "laugh out loud" humor that tickles funny bones of all ages, he turned to works of Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Haydn, and other musical heavyweights.



Eventually, his muse led him to a studio where he created a groundbreaking recording, backed up by full symphony orchestra and four opera singers.







Perlmutter's first album, "Beethoven's Wig: Sing Along Symphonies," was released in 2002. Within a week of its debut, he was featured on NPR's All Things Considered, followed by an appearance on NBC's Today Show.



The album shot to the top of Amazon's Bestseller List, holding the #1 position on both the Amazon classical and children's music sales charts for four months. Over the next year, Beethoven's Wig received 15 national awards including a GRAMMY nomination for Best Musical Album for Children. (kmozart.com)



How to Parent (according to Tiger Mom)

Friday, September 2, 2011

BREAKUP: "Be Gentle With Me" (comedy)

Wisdom Quarterly

"Be gentle with me, oh oh, be gentle with me...please be gentle with me, handle with care, be gentle with me...or I shall kick your teeth in."



Breaking up is hard to do, they say. But it depends. It certainly is if one repeatedly reflects on the appealing qualities of the lost person.



However, if one were to from to time consider and reflect on the unappealing aspects, that clinging and pining would vanish.



One would become disenchanted, disillusioned, dispassionate. And then it would be possible to be freed. There is, of course, a trap. If one pushes away from the pain, that is just as dangerous as clinging to the pleasant in the first place. Aversion is as hard to deal with as undue attraction.





"Garden of Love" (Benny Hill)



Hate quickly replaces love -- without displacing it. One is then attached and angry, hurt and seeking some way of ridding oneself of the pain, the memory, the intrusive thoughts.







Wise reflection (yoniso manasikara) sees things as they truly are -- neither ignoring the bad nor exaggerating the good.



With freedom comes laughter again. Everything is funny. Everything is light. Everything is fine just as it is, because fine/not-fine is all in the mind that judges it so. With a different decision, the world seems to change. There is no out there without an in here.



Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and you can cry alone. (Misery loves company, but the company soon wearies of les contagious miserable).





Be sure to have the number to cancel.



A natural solution without harmful chemical pharmaceuticals? (welltabs.com)

Monday, July 11, 2011

In search of the world's funniest joke

Wisdom Quarterly (INVESTIGATION)


Monty Python introduces the theoretical consequences if such a joke were ever found before science reveals the answer. "Laughter is the best medicine," of course. And those benefits obtain even if the laughter, at first, is forced. This explains the growing popularity of Laughter Yoga. Prof. Richard Wiseman explains the submission and voting process that collected 40,000 jokes. Buddhism is wonderful because it keeps its sense of humor in the face of all.

Prof. Wiseman explains comedy to comedian Lewis Black (History Channel)
Jokes.com
Arj Barker - Sickest Buddhist
comedians.comedycentral.com
JokesJoke of the DayFunny Jokes