New mom Lauren gets unwelcome parenting advice from someone she meets at the park (Aug. '11). Being a mindful parent is hard unless you are practicing mindfulness, in which case it just naturally rubs off on kids. But will others notice? Might they think they "know better"?
Having a baby is... yada yada yada. We've all heard it. It changed my life. It was the greatest moment ever when s/he was born. Everyone is sick to death hearing about it. Then comes the tough part, actually raising the bodhisattva...without a white pony.
Destined for enlightenment, born to me? I'm not always sure those go together. But assuming they do, there's Buddhist discipline and money management. In Buddhism monastics get it ready-made as the Vinaya. But the closest thing to a Householder's Discipline comes from the advice to Sigala sutra.
Hating hateful actions (like murder) or hateful actors (like murderers) makes us guilty of hate. Hate is toxic to all who harbor it, and it is not cured by vigilantism or revenge.
There are those who give free rein to hate when it arises like stampeding horses. There are others who pull the reins and control their chariot even when the horses are bolting. The Buddha called the latter "charioteers," whereas the former are merely holding the reins.
American hatred has grown so great -- animosity at a mother or a trial gone wrong -- that citizens are ready to lynch anyone named Casey Anthony.
Searching Facebook, many have found a man by the same name and tormented him. His response to the vigilante mob? "I can't change my name, ladies and gentlemen."
"Casey Anthony" is a 43-year-old African-American male. He lives in Darby, Pennsylvania, and just happens to share the name of a 25-year-old Anglo-American female from Orlando, Florida, who is infamous for being found not guilty of killing her 2-year-old daughter.
PHOTO: The other Casey Anthony from Pennsylvania (NBC Philadelphia)
Mr. Casey Anthony has been bombarded on Facebook. He estimates that he has gotten at least 300 friend requests, messages, and posts, all targeting the other Casey Anthony.
"After the verdict that day, it went crazy. It was like everybody wanted to know and wanted to comment on this Casey Anthony situation," he explains.
The Antidote is the Opposite There are Three Poisons of the heart/mind: greed, hatred (often expressed as fear), and delusion. It is wise to root them out at every opportunity. It is easier to transmute or transform them into something useful than it is to rid oneself of them.
But surely if they remain, they are serving as the basis of unprofitable karma (unskillful action of mind, speech, or body). Their "antidotes" are categories of opposite states -- nongreed, nonhatred, and nondelusion. Three immediate remedies are given as:
Why would one even try to avoid or abandon hatred if it is manifesting as "righteous indignation"? Surely, that justifies it and strengthens us to act in opposition!?
No, what it does is obscure the mind, cause one to act in ways that result in remorse, that bring about suffering for us (when those actions later ripen), the bring humans down to subhuman states.
Hate helps no one. And those who say it does are trying to make the best of a bad situation. Transform it, transmute it, let it go, be freed from it, free others from it -- for it will surely drag us down, and we will only realize it too late.
Living in a topsy-turvy world is easy -- as long as our sense of humor remains intact. That's not always easy. To keep smiling, to start laughing, is a blessing.
It takes not only an open mind but a throbbing heart. The heart opens, the mind opens. The marriage of compassion and wisdom is no mismatched pairing.
There are are growing number of intelligent comedians thriving in the the Bush-catastrophe era we are still living in with Barack O'Bush, who has done so much to keep and promote not only the policies of the Cheney-Bush administration but also its key players.
Why argue about revolution when things are worse than ever with a much nicer face on it? How I wished we could have a black president. I never bargained for a (shsssssh) sad "sell out."
Buddhism has many comedians: Ajahn Brahm, Nes Wisker, Roshi Albrizze, Ashley Wells, and even the British Western-Thai-Theravada-tradition monk Ajahn Sumedho, who wrote a book titled Who We Really Are, which explains:
"Now one of the big problems in meditation is that we can take ourselves too seriously.
"We can see ourselves as religious people dedicated towards serious things, such as realizing truth.
"We feel important; we are not just frivolous or ordinary people, going about our lives, just going shopping in the supermarket and watching television.
"Of course this seriousness has advantages; it might encourage us to give up foolish activities for more serious ones.
"But the process can lead to arrogance and conceit: a sense of being someone who has special moral precepts or some altruistic goal, or of being exceptional in some way, having come onto the planet as some kind of messiah.
It's a kind of pride that can make human beings lose all perspective; so we need humor to point to the absurdity of our self-obsession."
James: I laugh a lot when I meditate, especially when that sneaky ego creeps in with the "spiritual materialism" of smugness, arrogance, and pride of feeling like I'm something special because I'm meditating, because I'm a "Buddhist," or because I'm feeling like I "get it." It is as if there is something to "get" (shaking head and chuckling). It's more like there is something to lose [to abandon, to let go of]. Namely, the very ego that wants to acquire. More
Laughter and Buddhism This May I will travel to France to present a paper on Laughter and Buddhism. The meeting is that of philosophers interested in comparative work between Western and Eastern philosophies. The topic this time is "Laughter: East and West."
New mom Lauren gets unwelcome parenting advice from someone she meets at the park (Aug. '11). Being a mindful parent is hard unless you are practicing mindfulness, in which case it just naturally rubs off on kids. But will others notice? Might they think they "know better"?
Destined for enlightenment, born to me? I'm not always sure those go together. But assuming they do, there's Buddhist discipline and money management. In Buddhism monastics get it ready-made as the Vinaya. But the closest thing to a Householder's Discipline comes from the advice to Sigala sutra.
